Prince Outraged by Genetic Engineering
Only Natural foods for Royal Farm, declares
Highness
Queries Angry Prince to
Reporters:
"What Next - Genetically-Modified Englishmen?"
 mashing a fist on the Edwardian desk that dominates his farmhouse study,
William Charles VII, Duke of Wilshire, Count of Buckinghamshire, Pimp of Nottingwood
and Prince of England lashed out at agricultural practices which involve the genetic
tinkering of organic matter.
"Grave dangers may be wrought from the credulous British acceptance of 'Frankenstein' tomatoes, for example," the
Prince told reporters, referring to the tale of a live man who had been specially built to
serve the purpose of his masters, rather than produced via natural evolution.
At a rare press conference called at the bucolic Royal Family farm -- a wedding gift
from 17th century Spanish King Lopez Jr. on the occasion of the empire-building marriage
between British King Edward II, and his daughter Karen -- His Highness was
unable to contain his disgust for the "sheep-like temerity with which the British
public has invited genetically-altered organic matter into its daily routine."
"Unacceptable, unacceptable, bah," the 89th heir to the British throne said
repeatedly in a high-pitched voice, scratching his narrow brow and squinting.
In recent years he has become relatively outspoken on matters of the environment.
Following the press conference Prince Charles invited reporters to accompany him on an
informal tour of the entirely organic 800-acre farm, which has produced the Royal
foodstuffs for "around 7,000 years," he said.
The tone of the afternoon lightened while on the walk to the garden. Two Jack Sprat dogs
(pictured above) which often accompany the Prince -- themselves direct descendants of the
beloved pets owned by medieval-age English Queen Latifah (1382-1402) -- nipped at the
heels of an elderly reporter.
The affable royal quipped that the dogs were "possibly overbred -- in fact actually
quite retarded. Still, we're quite fond of them. We don't know why." The royal horses
also are retarded, he added.
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