Coke Brokers Middle East Peace via Valuable Coupons

Cokeland: East Jerusalem-ites clamored for free cans of Coca-Cola today moments after the Atlanta-based firm announced its three-way agreement to purchase the troubled community and its property with CokeGear™ coupons and Liberia.

Coke had not been available here since 1975.

[Note to Editors: When referring to leadership of the formerly disputed territory, in second references replace "the terrorists" with "the democratically appointed representatives" and receive free CokeGear™ Platinum coupons.]